UnitedRidaZ

Modern Medicine
>
>One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
>"My elbow hurts terribly. I guess I better see a doctor."
>"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
>"There's a diagnostic computer at the corner drugstore. Just give it a
>urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
>about it.
>It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a heck of a lot cheaper
>than a doctor."
>So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the
>drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks
>for the urine sample. He pours the sample into a funnel and waits. Ten
>seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow.
>Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two
>weeks.
>That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
>began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water,
>a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter,
>scraped some oil off the driveway and masturbated into the mixture for good
>measure.
>Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results.
>He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
>The computer prints the following:
>1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
>2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
>3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
>4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
>5. Your Volvo needs rings.
>6. And If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
>better.